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Chapter 15


Ever since I met Kirsten I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. I’ve been planning out various scenes but have dismissed most of them for being too intense. I haven’t had to worry about this before because using the clubs meant it was one woman, one time. But if I want a long term sub, this needs more thought.

After talking to Christine I’ve come to realize that Elena’s style of domination was intense: yeah, that’s the word. Christine basically warned me off being a Dom in Elena’s style. So I’m more wary than usual – after all, I don’t know any other way. I’ll just have to take it slow with Kirsten and make sure I do enough to make her want to come back. Hell, I want her so badly I could fuck her into next week but I’ve learned to control my more extreme urges. I can never get rid of them: I know that. In fact, I don’t want to. Elena has shown me that they’re part of who I am. Yeah, I’m fucked up, but it’s finding a way to deal with it. Elena’s way. And now it’s going to my way. Soon it will be Kirsten’s way.

But there’s something I have to do first – something that isn’t a talent I readily possess. I have to find a way to apologize to my brother. Last time I saw Elliot, I came close to hitting him. I don’t mean horsing around, I mean beating the shit out of him and wiping the blood off of my hands. The loss of control scared the shit out of me. It took me back to being 15 years old and totally mind-fucked.

I think about phoning him up to go for a drink but somehow that seems cowardly. I’ll have to go and see him face-to-face, so that I know we’re ok. My brother has always been on my side and always forgiven me. There’s been a lot to fucking forgive. And now, more than ever.

I work late. We’re in talks with Baxter’s but the MD is being difficult. He’s run the company into the fucking ground but he still doesn’t want to sell it – warbling on about family heritage. It took me all of two minutes to point out that in another six months he’ll have jack-shit to pass on to his offspring. Ros was impressed: two minutes before telling it like it is has doubled the record for my personal best. My people skills are definitely improving.

I wonder if Elliot has already eaten. If not, maybe we can have dinner. I know what I’ll be eating: humble fucking pie.

I decide against phoning him first. I need to see him.

When I pull up outside I can see lights on his apartment. I’m relieved because I want to get this done now.

I press the buzzer for the intercom and I’m let in immediately: Elliot didn’t even check to see who it is. Fuck, he must be expecting a date. I consider coming back another time but, well, I’m here now. May as well get it over with.

The door to his apartment is wide open. Elliot has no fucking sense of security. I step in, hearing music flooding out.

“Didja forget your keys again, babe? Oh! Who are you?”

The redhead standing in front of me looks nervously at me then blushes.

It never fucking changes. Stop fucking staring at me!

“I’m Elliot’s brother. I take it he’s not here?”

“Er, no. But he’ll back any minute. He went to get pizza. Are you Christian? He’s talked about you. I’m Jessica.”

He hasn’t mentioned you at all. Not that I’ve given him the chance.

“Would you like a glass of wine, Christian?” she says, picking up an uncorked bottle.

“No, thank you. I’ll come back another time. I apologize for interrupting your evening.”

I turn to go but almost bump into Elliot who is bounding up the stairs.

“Hey, little bro,” he says warily. “What are you doing here?”

I take a deep breath, fully aware that Jessica will hear every word.

“I just wanted to… I’m sorry about what happened last time I saw you. Things have been… difficult lately. I know that’s not an excuse…”

My words trail off pathetically but my brother isn’t someone who holds a grudge. He grins at me and slaps me on the shoulder.

“No worries. Come on in and have some pizza with us. You’ve met Jessica? Jess, come say ‘hi’ to my little brother.”

“We’re already met,” says Jessica smiling at me. “I tried to persuade him to have a glass of wine.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your evening,” I say, turning to go.

“Have you eaten yet, because I’ve got enough pizza for three? Don’t go, Christian. Stay and chill out. Jess is a musician, too.”

Jessica looks at me doubtfully, her eyes raking up and down my bespoke suit. “You’re a musician?”

Elliot laughs and closes the door to the apartment, effectively sealing me in.

“What do you play?”

“Christian plays the piano and our little sister plays the cello. Jessica is a second violin in the Seattle Symphony Orchestra,” Elliot says proudly.

He tosses me one of the pizza boxes and goes through to the kitchen with the others. I’m left standing in the middle of the living room feeling like an ass.

“Come and sit down,” says Jessica kindly, pointing towards the dining room table.

It’s set for two, with candles. I decide to leave: I’ve spent enough of my life feeling like a third fucking wheel.

“Don’t even think about leaving,” Elliot yells from the kitchen.

I have to admit: my brother knows me well. Jessica smiles at me and quickly puts out another placemat and serviette.

I give up, tossing the pizza box on the table, shrugging out of my jacket and loosening my tie.

“What sort of music do you like, Christian?”

“All sorts: I have eclectic tastes.”

“I meant to play. Do you have a favorite piece?”

“Anything that sounds like a dirge,” Elliot yells from the kitchen.

Jessica rolls her eyes and grins at me. I can’t help smiling back but I wish I hadn’t because she gasps, looks confused and drops her eyes to the table.

“He’s always playing Chopin,” shouts Elliot, oblivious to the by-play in his dining room. “And… what’s that Russian one you were working on… the one with all the notes?”

I shake my head. Elliot’s taste runs more to world music.

“You know… Ravel – the Scarbo,” he yells.

Jessica raises her eyebrows. “You can play Ravel’s ‘Scarbo’? Even professional pianists look pale when that one is mentioned.”

“Yeah, well, my little brother is pretty damn good, though I say it myself,” says Elliot affably, strolling into the dining room with a bowl of salad balanced on top of the other pizza boxes. “You might hear him play at mom and dad’s on Sunday.”

I frown at him. “What’s going on at mom and dad’s?”

Elliot shakes his head. “Do you ever pick up your messages? Mia says she’s called your apartment at least six times.”

Fuck! I haven’t even looked at the home answer machine.

“You are coming, aren’t you, Christian? Mia’s counting on you being there.”

Enough with the emotional fucking blackmail!

I shrug. “What time?”

Elliot grins at me. “One for 1.30pm – the usual. And we’re taking the boat out afterwards so bring your deck shoes.”

“I’ll come for lunch, Elliot, but I haven’t got time to go sailing. I have to work.”

He scowls at me. “Take the fucking day off and go spend some time with Mia.”

The atmosphere in the room is suddenly arctic as we glare at each other.

Jessica shifts in her chair.

“I’d really like to hear you play the piano, Christian,” she says softly, trying to lighten the mood.

I seriously fucking doubt you’ll ever hear me play! I don’t perform for strangers. But I appreciate her efforts all the same. I remind myself that I’m here to eat humble pie. I had no idea Elliot would be serving up a fucking supersize portion.

Elliot never stays mad for long and soon we’re managing to hold something like a normal conversation. Jessica is funny and witty and she makes me smile with a long story about a visiting conductor whose ego is in disproportionate size to his talent. The wine is making her indiscreet but I can see why Elliot likes her.

At 11pm I decide to head back and put in a couple of hours’ work before I try and sleep.

Elliot punches me on the arm as I put on my jacket ready to leave. It’s his way of telling me that we’re ok. I’m relieved. Suddenly Jessica swoops in to hug me. It’s a playful, kittenish hug, but her hands reach towards my chest and I stumble backwards, my heart sprinting with sudden, irrational fear.

Her smile falters and she looks at Elliot to see what she did wrong.

“He doesn’t like to be touched,” says Elliot softly.

An expression of horror and pity is evident on Jessica’s face. I mumble my goodbyes and get the fuck out, leaving Elliot to decide how much – or little – to explain to her.

I stride back towards my car, filled with boiling rage. Fuck! I can’t even manage one ordinary, fucking evening without finding a way to spoil it, to fuck it up for everyone else. This is why my family is better off without me. Why don’t they understand? Why won’t they leave me alone?

By the time I get home, I’m incapable of working: my head is so fucked. Instead I pull on my sweats and running shoes and head out into the dark. It’s raining: I enjoy the cool water on my face, soaking into my hair and clothes. Maybe it will cool the furious heat inside me.

It’s nearly 1am by the time I return home. I’m surprised to see a new text message on my phone. I’m even more surprised to see it’s from Kirsten. I wasn’t expecting to hear from her until I moved into my new apartment next month.

* Sir, I am free tonight if you want to play. Next month is a long way away. *

Yes. This is what I need.

I shower quickly and pull on some old jeans and a T-shirt. There’s no CEO now – he’s left the building; probably the fucking planet.

I stow a pair of handcuffs in my back pocket along with a new packet of condoms, and head out.

Kirsten’s apartment is in Fremont, a hip part of town. The bars are still packed and I’m not the only person I see when I park up in her street.

She’s waiting for me at the door to her apartment. I’m pleased to see she’s not wearing any make-up and her long, curling hair is hanging loose around her shoulders.

“Good evening, sir. It’s good to see you.”

“Good evening, Kirsten.”

“May I offer you a glass of wine, sir? Red or white?”

“Thank you. I’ll have white, please.”

Her apartment is full of colorful wall hangings and folk art. She’s obviously going for a bohemian look: not my taste at all. I find it rather distracting.

She hands me a glass of wine and immediately drops her eyes to the floor.

“You may have a glass, too, Kirsten,” I say kindly.

“Thank you, sir,” she says simply. “Would sir like to see the bedroom?”

“Yes, Kirsten, I would.”

I realize immediately that she’s taken me to her guest room. There’s not much in it other than a large bed, with black sheets and pillow cases and a charcoal grey duvet. Much better.

I take a few sips of wine as I look around me. The wine isn’t bad: a bit sweet for my taste. I prefer a dry white wine like a Sauvignon Blanc. She’ll know my tastes soon enough.

I turn and stare at her. Her gaze is fixed to the floor.

“Take off your robe and give it to me.”

She complies immediately and I drink her in. I can see faint tan marks on her pale gold skin. Her breasts are small but beautifully formed.

“Do you have a hair tie?”

“Yes, sir. There’s one in the pocket of my robe.”

She looks confused as I pull out an elasticized tie then hang her robe on the hook by the door.

“Turn around.”

Quickly I braid her hair. I don’t want it to get in the way. It’s a lovely texture: soft and silky, waving to the middle of her back.

I tug the braid and she takes a step backwards. I can feel her warm skin through my T-shirt. It really fucking turns me on. I slide my hands slowly around her waist and the down towards her hips, letting my fingers skim the edge of her panties. I push my fingers down further: just smooth, soft skin and I’m pleased that she’s following the rules already, even though we haven’t officially started our contract.

I reach down further and circle her clitoris slowly. She moans softly.

“Hush now.”

A small whimper escapes her but she’s quiet.

I slide the cuffs out of my back pocket and run them down her back so she can feel the cold metal on her skin. She shivers. Still keeping her back to my chest, I run the cuffs over her torso, feeling her nipples tighten and harden as the cold iron touches them.

“Put your hands behind you,” I whisper into her ear.

Immediately she puts her wrists together and I cuff them, enjoying the distinctive click as they close.

“Kneel down.”

I support her by holding one arm as she kneels down awkwardly. I feel more relaxed now, knowing she can’t touch me inadvertently. My earlier run in with Jessica has freaked me out more than I care to admit.

I kick off my shoes and sit on the bed to peel off my socks. The mattress is hard, which is perfect for what I have in mind. I’m rather enjoying improvising rather than playing out a particular scene.

I pull off my T-shirt and fold it, leaving it on a chair in the corner, the only other piece of furniture in the room.

“You may stand,” I say, helping her to her feet.

I pull down her panties and kneel in front of her. I let my fingers drift up her legs to the apex of her thighs. I slide one finger inside her, and am pleased to find she’s already wet. I move her back to the bed.

“Sit down. Open your legs. Wider.”

I kneel in front of her again and push my hands against her knees, forcing them open even further. Her warm flesh smells musky as I run my nose over her mount. I feel her quiver beneath me. I slide my tongue inside her and she groans. Soon I’m working her up into a frenzy. She tries not to make a sound but she can’t help herself.

I don’t know her that well yet but I can tell she won’t be able to hold off her orgasm much longer.

“You may come,” I whisper, flicking my tongue to finish her off.

While her orgasm trembles through her I quickly uncuff one wrist and flip her onto her front, recuffing her hands over her head and through the iron fretwork of her headboard.

I slide the belt out of the loops on my jeans. It’s not hard to improvise.

“Are you ready, Kirsten?”

“Yes, sir,” she moans.

“Count for me: ten times.”

The belt barely touches her but her shoulders quiver.


I increase the force.


And again.


Now I’m getting into my stride.


A little harder.


Yes! This is what I need!


This is what I was born for.






Fuck, yes!

“Ten!” she shrieks.

I pull off my jeans, no briefs, and my dick is hard and aching. I tear the condom wrapper with my teeth and slide it on.

I pull her hips up and take from behind. Hard. Fast. My preferred method. She pushes her beautiful, pink ass into me as I thrust harder.

I can feel her quivering again and I pound on. She screams and a few seconds later I come hard.

My breathing is harsh but she’s gasping for breath.

I reach up and uncuff her, then pull out sharply.

A long sigh escapes her. I lean by her side and rub her wrists gently.

“Thank you, sir,” she whispers.

“My pleasure.”

I pull off the condom and knot it securely. I’m pleased with how my first encounter with Kirsten has gone. I’ll need to reward her. I don’t know much about what she likes, but all women like chocolate, right? I intend to buy her something expensive: Swiss or Belgium. And some decent fucking wine.

She rolls over and watches as I pull on my jeans and T-shirt feeling calmer than I’ve felt in weeks.

She blinks up at me, as I lean over and pull off the hair-tie, combing my fingers through her hair.

“Are you leaving, sir? You’re welcome to stay the night.”

“Thank you, Kirsten, but I need to get back and work.”

“Work? But it’s 4am, sir! I’ll worry if you don’t get some sleep, sir.”

I like the fact that she says she’ll worry about me. I don’t believe her, but it was …acceptable that she said it.

“I’ll be in touch, Kirsten.”

“I hope it’ll be soon, sir,” she says.

I let myself out of her apartment and close the door quietly.


85 Comments Post a comment
  1. 08/31/2012

    That was a great chapter but it was too short 🙂 We need more! Thank you!

    • 08/31/2012

      Gaw Blimey. You just don’t want one orgasm you want a multiple.
      Jane will be home soon and she’ll be writing more.
      Stay tuned.

  2. 08/31/2012
    Nan Virden

    Wow, a look into the early Dom. Not heartless, but incapable of readily showing any feeling except family. And even then it’s awkward for him. Maybe it’s me but at this stage of his life I don’t perceive him as a monster. Sever domination thanks to Elena is how he was taught; that’s all he knows. He’s a victim , fifty shades a victim. Great chapter. Is Kirsten his first sub other than Elena?

  3. 08/31/2012

    Wonderful and so worth the wait…. Wonder how Jane will work on how he decides to come up with the NDA and the contract…I mean, does he draft it himself or have his Legal Department do it? Hhmmm

  4. 08/31/2012

    Awwwww that was blissful.. I am happy I stayed up to read it.. Now I can sleep soundly with dreams of Christian…… TY, Jane and TBM for posting my bedtime story.. 😉

  5. 08/31/2012

    i’m enjoying pre-Ana Christian…he’s such an interesting character. thank you but please don’t keep us waiting too long.

  6. 08/31/2012

    A beautiful execution!! So intense!! He’s so effin HOTT!! Looking forward to GEH n Escala!!

  7. 08/31/2012

    Phew, that was a bit hot for breakfast time, I better open a window. Fucking and leaving in the middle of the night isn’t the action of a gentleman but it goes with the territory and Kirsten seems to have enjoyed herself. Great stuff.
    Jessica seems nicer than Kate but I wonder if she makes a play for Christian?

  8. 08/31/2012

    Hot. But how messed up poor Christian is; really believing that he doesn’t belong to his family. He is so anxious in family situations. You handle each character beautifully. I like how you handle Kristen. He can’t believe that anyone would really mean that they would care for him. I think she does already.

  9. 08/31/2012

    Yay! I like Kristen. I like seeing how Christian interacts with other woman, BA( before Ana).

  10. 08/31/2012

    gotta luv christian..more christian and taylor plz..

  11. 08/31/2012

    cant say i enjoy Christian having sex with anyone but Ana 😦
    its like cheating …lol

    • 08/31/2012

      i feel the same way

      • 08/31/2012

        got to just remember it’s BA

    • 10/5/2012

      It’s not cheating on Ana when he hasn’t even met her..just like all of our real lives. We or our husbands don’t cheat on each other years before we meet..

      • 10/5/2012
        Jane H-B

        Once Christian meets Ana, he never cheats on her emotionally or physically; he never so much as looks at another woman.

  12. 08/31/2012
    linda d

    I really despise Elena. These stories are my favorite, thank you for updating!

  13. 08/31/2012

    omg, i thought jessica had submissive tendencies there and was gonna go all “yes, sir” on us.

  14. 08/31/2012

    I love Elliet but can’t understand why he’s always pushing Christian when he knows it will only upset him and lead to more disharmony. Wish he would just accdept him and love him. So happy to see his new Sub is interested in his wellfare. I think she was curious a little as they all are because he appears so young and beautiful. (What he believes maskes the dark within) It is nice their first encounter went well. Look forward to his moving into the appartment and how he gets all that stuff in withot others knowing about it. Thanks I am enjoying your idea of how Christian became the Chrtistian we read about in the Trilogy, he doesn’t seem much different now than he does at the beginning of the book. Maybe a little more driven as he is beginning his business. I love ‘twenty’ and ‘Taylor’

    • 10/5/2012

      I don’t like Elliot..he does know that his teasing bothers his brother but still does it anyway. I would not do that to my brother or sister if I loved them. I think he does it deliberately.

      • 10/5/2012
        Jane H-B

        Yes, it’s deliberate. Elliot loves Christian and is proud of him, but as a young man of 23 or so, it must be hard to have a younger brother doing so well financially. That’s why the teasing comes out, imo.

  15. 08/31/2012

    Ah, satisfying! I agree with Jackie, above, and suspect Jessica may well be on deck for after Kirsten runs her course.
    Thank you Jane! We love young, dark Christian.

  16. 08/31/2012

    Too short, not the spanking, the chapter lol!! Please bring on the next chapter ma’am. Thank you. Dom

  17. 08/31/2012
    Chris L

    Elliot is so easy to understand. Mia is so easy to love if challenging to be with at times. I enjoy reading how Jane sees Christian beginning to grow, if mainly as a Dom. Yet the Chapter is so sad because Christian’s growth is so stunted and so utilitarian. Talk about a “purpose driven life”!

  18. 08/31/2012

    Thanks for my Christian fix, as always another brilliant chapter, love reading these… please more Taylor and Christian.

  19. 08/31/2012

    Thanks so much for these glimpses into Christian’s earlier years. Our little Dom is all grow. Up with a regular sub of his very own. ;-p

    • 09/1/2012

      Oh yes. Very grown up!

  20. 09/1/2012

    Jane – thank you so much for sharing your talents with us!

    • 09/1/2012

      Gosh, you’re very welcome! Glad you’re enjoying the stories.

  21. 09/1/2012

    Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou , I needed that its satisfying to read the before Christian and Taylor and not forgetting Flynn either i look forward to all new chapters ,Jane does great work and she has a mountain of inspiration to work with 🙂 and not forgetting you wonderful TBM for keeping this site up to date and all the work you put into it as well without you we wouldnt be sitting here reading these wonderful chapters so Thankyou to both of you :)….. OH And can i have some more soon Please !!!

    • 09/1/2012

      Hi Vicki, I’m back and on the case. Something mid week to thank you all for being so great. Jane x

  22. 09/1/2012

    Thank you, Ma’am. May I have another?

    • 09/1/2012

      Naughty girl! Well, as you ask so nicely, yes, you can have another soon!

  23. 09/1/2012

    Love, love, LOVE!! So many layers here! Ya just wanna shout to Christian to own up to the gentle soul that he has buried in there! Love and let love, Buddy!

    • 09/1/2012

      He’s got a long road to travel first, honey.

  24. 09/1/2012

    Another awesome chapter!

    • 09/1/2012

      Thank you muchly!

  25. 09/2/2012

    Great chapter! Not what I was expecting for his first encounter with Kirsten, but I still loved it! More please!

    • 09/2/2012

      A hint, Dawn, pretty please? I’d love to know what you were expecting… a tiny hint?

      • 09/2/2012

        Well, I think that I was surprised that he went to her place. And that is was relatively short. I know he’s trying to not be like Elena–which is a very good thing–but I thought he would want more. Doesn’t he always want more? Don’t we all want more? 😉 Fantastic job though! I really love this story.

      • 09/3/2012

        Christian says he didn’t want ‘more’ until he met Ana. I think it’s YOU wanting MORE of MR GREY and frankly, my dear, you’ll have to get in line! 😉

  26. 09/2/2012

    Loved this chapter. I find it interesting to see how Christian interacted with his previous subs in comparison to Ana. It’s interesting to see him grow into the Christian that we know in the FSOG books. As always, I just wish the page was longer…

    Are you going to proceed with the story from Christian’s viewpoint when you get to the point where he meets Ana, or only from Taylor’s POV? I hope that you’ll continue with Christian’s, as I like your view inside his head.

    Thank you Jane and Blog Master 🙂

    • 09/3/2012

      Hi there, I couldn’t make this any longer. I was sitting on a train. If it had been longer you wouldn’t have gotten it last week. Besides, there was a weird guy sitting next to me reading everything I was typing. His eyes were popping out of his head when I wrote the little BDSM scene – I didn’t know if he was going to ask me for a date or an appointment 😉

      • 09/3/2012

        That just made me laugh out loud and now everyone in the office is looking at me and wondering 😉
        Jane and Blog Master, keep up the great work!

      • 09/4/2012

        At work?! Bad, bad girl. I love it!

      • 09/4/2012

        LOLL ok. you just made me laugh out loud. people are so nosey. excellent chapter, it was a very hot scene so no wonder the guys eyes were popping out of his head lol. i liked how you had him make up with elliot, you can tell his brother loves him and doesnt hold grudges, he may tease him but he wants him happy. i love how he will tell him about himself though when it came to telling him to spend time with mia. keep up the good work, got to keep those eyes popping!! 🙂

      • 09/4/2012

        Ha! Will do, KC – so long as I don’t get arrested doing it.

      • 11/18/2012


  27. 09/2/2012

    I love this chapter. It’s nice to return from vacation with a chapter from fifty the early years. This was a really good one. This story is still my favorite, great job on it.

    • 09/3/2012

      Thanks, Brooke. I’m fascinated with Christian’s early years so you’ll definitely get more of this. All the way to the present, I shouldn’t wonder.

  28. 09/3/2012

    Oh — I didn’t mean ‘more’ as in Ana more but rather like the time he was with Siobhan. More satisfaction, not hearts and flowers. 😉 And of course I want more of Mr Grey!

    • 09/4/2012

      Oh, you mean more s-e-x! Why didn’t you say so! Ah, yep, I think Christian can er… manage that. Next chapter…!

      • 09/5/2012

        😉 Soon I hope!!

    • 10/5/2012

      Siohban?? did I miss something or maybe forget about this?

  29. 09/4/2012

    how crazy is this… i should be writing my thesis right now, but rather i’m doing a marathon reading of fifty shades after Harvard. lol. i’m loving the stories. thankyou so much!!!

  30. 09/8/2012

    Loved it. Need more please. Will you write about all 15?

    • 09/9/2012

      Don’t see why not. I think one of them was called Maria… 😉

  31. 09/8/2012


  32. 09/9/2012

    Another great chapter!
    Please write more!
    When will you publish another Taylor story?
    Those were realy good!

    • 09/9/2012

      Thank, hon. Very soon.

  33. 09/9/2012

    OMG that last chapter was HOT.. i mean really frigging hot..

    • 09/10/2012

      Yay! Thanks, Donna. Now imagine me writing that on a train, in public, with curious eyes watching every keystroke!!

  34. 09/9/2012

    it said chapters 10-20 but i see fifteen .. am i missing some?

    • 09/10/2012

      Nope. I’ve only written 15. The Blog Mistress has just got the chapter headings for me for when I get off my candy ass and write them. Sorry! I’ll get there in the end.

  35. 09/11/2012

    take your sweet candy ass time.. so long as they all turn out like the others….

    • 09/11/2012

      Aw, thanks, honey!

  36. 09/11/2012

    Ok reading your blog I have accomplished absolutely nothing. No work, no dinner not even taking care of my kids. Thank you for the great read. Please, Please keep them coming. Literately and figuratively.

  37. 09/12/2012

    that was awesome but we need more…. ore 50 more taylor just more.x.x.

    • 09/13/2012

      There’ll be more. Promise!

  38. 09/12/2012

    HELP!! Can only read up to this chapter – can’t get the rest! I have to know what happens!! Can you direct me please???

  39. 09/20/2012

    I am loving CPOV from his early twenties. Wonderful writing, can’t wait for the next chapter!

    • 09/21/2012

      Thanks, Cassie. I’m fascinated by how such a young guy built up an empire whilst dealing with such a fragile emotional life. I suppose that’s the point: he keeps all the emotions well hidden as much as possible…

  40. 09/21/2012

    Dear Jane,

    Sorry in advance: this is going to be a LONG comment.
    Here it comes:

    Thank you very much for writing this. Absolutely loved it!
    Don’t care much for all the swearing, but other than that: no objections, no criticism. Just ‘wow’.

    To say, in the spirit of Fifty: a lot of firsts, for me.

    Usually I genuinely detest both fanfiction and prequels. So this being both, I feared the worst.
    But it’s been great reading. I’d even go so far as to say: a better read than the original books.
    Also a first: the fact that I read it in one go, or, for that matter: that I read it at all. English is not my native language, so that was an obstacle. Besides that, I have problems with my eyesight which make reading in general and reading from screen in particular quite hard.
    And yet, I read, and couldn’t stop.

    Quietly I wonder: what would ELJ herself think about your stories?
    How awesome would it be if she’d give her approval, if she’d actually acknowledge these backstories as ‘officially canonical’?!
    Personally, I’d have no problem accepting this one, and Taylor’s story, as such.

    In fact: I’m only halfway through reading Fifty Shades Darker.
    In all honesty, I’d gotten a bit tired and annoyed by the, IMHO, poor writing, and was looking for a bit of distraction without having to quit Fifty completely. That’s when I came across your site.
    And now, after having read most of your stories, I return to the original; happily taking all the added background information with me.
    And contrary to my original fears, it really gives the Fifty-books a lot of dimension and depth.

    So: thank you. And please: more… more..!

    • 09/21/2012

      Hannah, thank you so much, and for writing so fully and fulsomely. It’s a fair point, there’s a lot of swearing, but I hope it’s true to the characters and not gratuitous. And I’m amazed and delighted at your wonderful comments. EL James has created such a fascinating character in Christian that I just wanted to know ‘more’ – hence these stories. Thank you again for reading and thank your for your lovely comments. jx

      • 09/23/2012

        You’re very welcome.

        On a side note: The first sentence of Chapter 5 brought a big grin on my face.
        “I’m going to ride you until you pop like warm champagne”.
        Was that a deliberate nod to the Buffy-verse; purely accidental; or just plain plagiarism..? :-p

      • 09/24/2012

        A homage! And you’re the first person to see it! Perhaps Taylor is a ‘Buffy’ fan. I know I am!

      • 09/24/2012

        Somewhere between you posting that comment and me reading it, you edited it, since I read something else when I received it through e-mail. I don’t know you well enough, otherwise I’d say: you bad girl… 🙂
        But ‘homage’ is fine with me. More than fine. A Spike-tribute within a Taylor-story based on a Fifty’s-novel, that’s a lot of goodies in one package.

        As for being the Buffy-fan: my money’s on Gail. Suddenly I have this picture of her watching it, all flushed and practically drooling, and Taylor thinking: ‘God.. women.. But hey, I’m cool. If she’s into that Spike-guy… Let’s go with that, might get me somewhere…’

      • 09/25/2012

        I got interrupted and changed my mind. Or maybe it’s more about Faith. I suppose it depends on whether Taylor has the long, leather coat. I’m thinking… YES!

  41. 09/22/2012

    Jane – I must say I loved the little interlude that is this chapter.
    And I use the word “interlude” not only because the chapter was short.

    Yes – I can understand that due to being written mostly while on the train, the piece had to be short, but… it is so different with regards to the emotional charge of the previous chapters, so light, so… “happy” I wanted to say but found it remarkably inappropriate when it comes to CG and his emotions.

    It strikes me that this chapter is like a bridge in music – contrasting to the precedes but at the same time preparing for the return of original stronger themes.

    Except for the one instance (at the end of CG’s visit to Elliot’s triggered by Jessica’s attempt to hug him and the resulting run to wear off the rage) the whole chapter is … serene… Even the scene at Kirsten’s apartment… It left me with the feeling of the impending doom…

    Dw (Dorota)

    • 09/22/2012

      That’s an interesting comment. In so many ways Christian is the instigator of his own ‘doom’ to use your words. Even more sadly, he knows it but can’t change how he behaves. I think you’re right: the rage will be back, too soon.

  42. 09/22/2012

    Well – this concludes my reading and commenting on “Fifty Shades from Twenty”.
    Jane – can we expect some MORE soon, please? Pretty please? I know Taylor is very popular, but … I love me some 20/Fifty (and I’m sure I’m not the only one) 😉

    I’m off to Flynn now, and later to Taylor or maybe first the one-shots I haven’t commented on yet. (…) That is if you are not sick and tired of my STALKING…

    Dw (Dorota)

    • 09/22/2012

      I sent you an email. Did you get it?

    • 09/22/2012

      Not at all! I love your insightful comments. Yes, there’ll be some more of Twenty very soon. And without having anyone read over my shoulder on a train.

  43. 11/18/2012

    Qui va lui enseigner à prendre soin de ses soumises? Elena n’a pas bien fait son job!

    • 11/18/2012
      Jane H-B

      I think the caring comes naturally, and he’s listened to what Christine said about looking after his submissives.


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